Blah blah blog

I was writing a long, meaningful and thought provoking blog but I've gotten distracted and annoyed. Now I'm too focused on being annoyed to write anything that makes sense so here are some fun pictures :D

Pepper

Friday will be a very sad day for us.

Our dog Pepper will be leaving us. We are heartbroken but she is no longer happy with us. We have never had problems between our two dogs but she has suddenly turned against our other dog. Our other dog, Fig, is a labrador and a VERY gentle dog. It's gotten to a point, over the last few days, where Fig will not fight back when Pepper starts at her. Fig will get hurt and we'll loose both dog then. Pepper is such a good dog I don't know what happened. She's perfect on walks/runs, really well trained and loves just being around you. Now she can't be near Fig for a few minutes without starting a fight. Pepper would NEVER hurt any of us but there is a huge risk of getting caught in the cross fire because once that switch goes off there is no stopping her. You really have to pick her up and carry her to be locked up.

I'll miss my baby. It's like a switch has gone off in her head. I want to keep her but I can't risk it with our other dog being there and of course with Amelia running around and Fig was there first so... She will be going to a dog rescue in Kilkenny. We know the old couple who run it and they are going to work with her and rehome her as an only dog. :( She's not happy here because of the way we have to keep them separate. It's not fair to Fig because she doesn't understand why they can't play and Pepper doesn't seem to "mean" to flip out. It's all very strange. :(

Daddy or learning?

Stumble, clink, bang, thud, thump!

The sound of my daughter moving around. Ever since the day she started walking, Amelia has had excellent balance. She never fell, danced in circles, ran, skipped and never fell over. God has that changed!

I was worried about this sudden tripping over everything but I have 2 theories.

First, I have read that when a toddler is working on a new skill the others become less interesting and so they don't work on them as much. For example, when Amelia was doing all the dancing and prancing around she hardly ever made a sound. Now that she's really working on all her sounds she seems to be ignoring her feet. She'll run towards animals, toys, on TV or signs making the sound of the animal...but she falls her way there! So I'm guessing when she's comfortable with some more words she'll start to put the two together!

Of course my other theory is... my husband is really really clumsy! He'll walk into things, trip up over nothing, drop things and yes he was in the army and was using weapons and yes he is a chef using very sharp knives everyday! Oi!

When I grow Up...

...I wanna be just like my Daddy!

Being a mother

I'm not sure I'll be able to put this into words but I'll try

Today is Mother's Day. (in Ireland anyway) So while my daughter is taking a nap, and I'm on my MUCH needed break I've decided to explore what I think about being a mother.

Well I suppose the obvious is I love it! It's not always easy. God knows Amelia can push my buttons when she wants to! She's cheeky, bossy, a totally Diva... and according to my Dad she's pretty much me when I was that age :D

I think for the first few weeks of Amelia's life the main things that came out of my mouth involved my astonishment of this little person. We made her. She was part me and part my husband. That's just SO amazing. To create something so beautiful with someone you love. She's my part of my husband when he's away working. (Which he is today because mother's day is busy busy at the restaurant) I always have a part of him here at home.

Some women find lack of sleep a problem. We don't have much trouble with that unless we have teeth pushing through. Me? I, sadly, find the mess one of the hardest things about being a mother. I am a neat freak and MY GOD that girl can make a mess! I don't know what she has done to the toy box, but the poor thing keeps throwing up all over the place! I don't know how many times I tidy, clean up spills, clean the spit marks off the windows in any one day, yet, as I type this I'm smiling because I can't think of a better way to spend my day!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is approaching fast. Sunday 14th March and I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to it. I of course love being a mom but I also hate being without one. My mom passed away a few years ago. She never met my husband and therefore never met Amelia. I think about that everyday. Every single day. It's exhausting. I'd love to share the special bond mothers and daughters share after a baby arrives.

I felt so cheated when my mom died. With how she died. With her not knowing who I was when she died. With her being at my brother's wedding but not being at mine. Though none of that should be in past tense because I still feel like that. That's why we had a small non wedding wedding. I didn't want any of the thing's I'd planned with my mom as a dreaming teen.

I can't help but think about how much easier life would be if my mom was still here. For advice, quality time, conversation. I get SO annoyed when people give out about their mothers. BE GLAD SHE'S THERE!!!

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. I think I HAVE to believe that. But it is true. As much as I wish my mom was here, if she was I never would have met my husband. Well not in the same way anyway. I never would have travelled to Australia, I never would have met him, made some amazing friends and Amelia would not be here today. So there's the reason. Now if only the "reason" made it easier to miss her.

We have never said the word nana/nan or anything related around Amelia. She does stand in her crib laughing and talking to nana. I can hope right?

So mom......

Happy Mother's Day. I miss you always and love you always. I hope you're proud. I hope you're at peace. I hope you watch over my baby girl. I hope you're the reason she says nana. I hope you're who she smiles at when she's looking at nothing.

Pondering...

As a family we have decided to get on a healthy lifestyle plan. Not in a super ott way but because of general things we have noticed with processed food. It all started when I had a conversation with my husband (a chef) about how healthy or unhealthy the children's food menu is in his restaurant. It started to spiral as we looked through our own freezer. I always have good intentions of making everything home made but time seems to go by to fast in any 1 day. I changed my mind when I was in the supermarket looking for chicken nuggets for Amelia made with 100% chicken breast. I found one, a very well known brand, with "100% Chicken Breast" in huge writing across the packet. 100%? Really? Turn it over. I've found all in stores in are 50% - 74% chicken breast. The rest is water, and God knows what chemicals I can't pronounce. Well for us that was the end of chicken nuggets! I can take some time out each week to chop up a chicken breast, crumb it and freeze it.

I can't help but wonder the obvious. Do we have more illness, disease and general health problems because of the improvement in our health care or the over load of chemicals we have in our day to day lives? Research by Bionsen, a natural deodorant company, found that the average woman's daily grooming and make-up routine means she 'hosts' a staggering 515 different synthetic chemicals on her body every single day. That doesn't included the God knows how many things we put IN our bodies. Now I'm not against improvements in health care and I'm honestly probably not going to stop putting chemicals on my body. Organic lotions maybe but I still like my products.

I suppose every action has a reaction. Every improvement in our food/hygiene means there is something natural being taken away. Here's what got me pondering in the first place. Steam mops... bear with me I have a point :) At first this seemed fantastic! I can clean the floors, killing germs, no chemicals BUT what's in the water I'm using? Tap water is treated so unless you get water from your own well or a spring is it really chemical free? Again...I'm still gonna use it but the thought still crossed my mind.

We now buy organic produce. We, sadly, don't have the soil for growing veg and it would take a HUGE overhaul of the garden to fix that. We don't have the soil because of builders leaving god knows what buried there not because I know anything about what kind of soil is needed. Still when I put organic veg into the shopping cart...what was in the soil it was grown in? So unless you are 100% self sufficient and living in the middle of no where can you actually avoid chemicals?

What makes a great dad?

Recently, as I think I've mentioned, my husband and I have been putting everything in our life into perspective. A lot of conversation have, of course, revolved around our daughter. My husband is totally devoted to her. It got me thinking. I hear so many stories of "dead beat dads". My husband works with one who sees his 5 year old son once a month because "his x does a good job". Clearly this is NOT a good dad. What does makes a good dad?

Is it simply being there? Is it bringing in money? Is it building all the new bits and pieces that come with children?

To me a good Dad is...well my husband!

Brent took to being a father like a duck to water. I remember him being nervous about this little person who would soon be in our care. I remember the conversations he had with my father that built his confidence. He didn't need to worry. Brent changed Amelia's first diaper like a pro. He held her just right. He got involved with everything from day 1. Her baths, diapers, and he was the EXPERT at sorting her colic problems.
Now that she is 15 months he makes her laugh, plays with her, teaches her how to head bang to rock music :) He gets her up every morning so I have a few minutes alone before he's gone for the rest of her day. *major points for this*

Of course he's not perfect, though in my opinion he's pretty close. There have been more than a few occasions where I've walked in saying "what is she wearing?!" "Brush her hair!" Besides those few cosmetic incidences what I think makes him a great dad is he NEVER stops trying to improve his daddy skills. He wants to learn how to tie her hair in pig-tails now that she has enough to do so! He wants to be there for her in every way. He wants only the best for her. I know a lot of dads SAY this but the difference is Brent would do ANYTHING for Amelia and I adore him for it. I love that he has gotten over problems in his past for her. I love how he will improve anything he can for her. I can't express enough what he has done and wants to do all for her.

So my top 5 good dad tips are;

Don't be shy-
With toddlers, comes silliness. The more foolish you are the more they giggle. Don't be worried about looking like an idiot in the park. Most people will admire how great you are with your child not make fun of you. Even if someone makes fun, look at your toddler's face and you won't care.

Laugh-
You WILL get pee'd on. You WILL end up with poop on you. There WILL be a smell of vomit on your shirt even if you can't find the stain. All you can do is laugh at it. At the end of the day it's harmless.

Be supportive-
Please note; for the first few weeks after your child is born, if you criticize your wife/girlfriend the response, 9 out of 10 times will be, "well excuse me I did just have a PERSON come out of me!" You have been warned :D

Bond-
Get to know your child. As a stay at home mom I know Amelia better than Brent, but he makes sure to learn the things I pick up. A dad is always needed. I still adore my dad and he has taken on my husband too and is the centre for advice. He's a dictionary with arms! We'll never ask anyone but him for advice again. Great dads can make this great bond.

Understand-
This one came from my husband himself.
Don't get stressed out with them. They are children. They are learning. Walk out of the room if your stress levels rise too much. Don't shout at them, don't scare them. Understand that they don't "mean" to annoy you.

Prayers

Layla Grace a sweet angelic 2 year old passed away today from Stage 4 neuroblastoma. The story is heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain of her family through this loss but our prayers are with them. Layla's story has touched SO many people. I can honestly say she has changed me as a mother and a person.

Please say a prayer for the Marsh family as Layla plays with the Angels.



Read her story @ www.laylagrace.org

How time speeds by......

I have been looking through photos of the last 15, almost 16 months with Amelia. My God they change so fast....

This was my tiny 6lb bundle



This is my Diva now...




It really is just crazy how much she has changed. Even stranger I think is that I couldn't for one second imagine my life without her! It's crazy to think that one tiny little person can have such a HUGE impact on your life. Before we had her everyone said "A baby will change your life" I don't think we've ever felt a "change". She has improved our life beyond words. God I love that little girl!

Raising an individual

One thing I want to try and teach my daughter is that it's OK to be different. Granted I am hoping that this will aid in her not becoming entrapped in a bad group at school but also just for her own confidence.

I think it's safe to say that once I hit my mid teens I came into my own. I had every colour hair inc pinks and blues. I had loads of arm bands, bracelets and a MAJOR obsession with rainbows. I suppose I am still the same. I try to buy "with the trends" but I always seems to end up doing my own thing in the end and the "trend" clothes end up stuffed at the back of the wardrobe! Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to create a mini me but I enjoy being my own person and I'm grateful to my parents for letting me express myself so I want to give Amelia the same option.

Already I do dress Amelia "different". Due to myself and thanks to some very talented friends, a lot of the clothes, hats and other bits and pieces she wears are hand made. At first I started this out of frustration. SO many people kept thinking she as a boy. No matter how much pink we bought or what shop we bought from and then entered the joys of handmade! Everything is MUCH more obviously girly without being covered in frills and bright pink. As it's turned out, the styles from handmade designs seems to suit Amelia more. On one hand it's because she's small and is still wearing 9-12 months clothes, some are even 6 month clothes even thought she is 15 months. Though the other reason is that she already had a wacky personality and the normal store bought clothes just don't seem to match her diva personality!

I won't push her to be "different" of course not. I do, however, want her to dye her hair IF SHE WANTS, wear odd socks, wear mad hats, express herself. Now I'm not going to let my tweenie put permanent dye in her hair but a wash out, sure, why not. I want to raise a child who has her own ideas and maybe more importantly is not AFRAID to have her own ideas. I want her to be confident, expressive, creative and happy with the person she is (or will become)

What is enough?

A conversation with my mother in law struck a cord with me...
"Relax she's fine"
"you're doing great"


It's nice to hear! I don't know if it's only me, and I highly doubt it is, but I am constantly wondering if I'm doing enough of the "right" things for Amelia. Am I reading to her enough? Do I teach her enough? Is she eating the right foods?

First I'll tackle the food. Honestly I don't question myself on this too much. I try to give her as much of a balanced diet as I can follow on a normal day. She does not have sweets or chocolate. The only chocolate she has had was the lick of a spoon when we were baking. She'll eat on most days, more than her "5 a day". Maybe 6 or 7 because she loves fruit. We don't keep white bread in the house and we try to buy organic where we can. She doesn't like milk (I don't either) so she has two cups of toddler milk a day which has good iron levels in it, which for some reason is one thing I want to make sure she has above others. The only problem we have is that she is probably getting to much dairy because man does that girl love her yogurts!

I worry about everything with Amelia. Like most moms I guess. Maybe I worry more about a few things but has anyone else noticed that the focus is always on what we're doing wrong? So thanks to my MIL I pass this on to you...

WELL DONE MOMS! (and DADS!) Well done for having HAPPY children, SMART children. Children who are LOVED and ADORED like they should be. It's OK to question yourself because I think it makes us better people. But with every question add a pat on the back for how far you have come and all the things your child has learned because of YOU!