The road of Motherhood

So many things have surprised me about motherhood. Most more amazing than I ever imagined. Sadly with those good points there are always the bad.

Jealously

I never once thought someone would be jealous of how I parent my child. OK I'll admit that I have decided that I will go out of my way to insure I don't miss a beat when it comes to raising Amelia through these first few years. I take her education seriously, I make sure she has a wide food palate and I try to "home school" her to a level she can understand.

We have NEVER talked down to Amelia or used "baby talk" and we always explain things to her to avoid tantrums where possible and we do not spank. Amelia is 9 times out of 10 very well behaved. I believe baby wearing has made her a very confident little woman and I am SO thankful for the ladies that introduced me to it.

I spend a lot of time planning learning activities for Amelia, planning the next step to take with her, making sure my husband and I are both on the same page so she has balance.

I strive to be a great mom. I try hand make things, I go OTT for her birthdays, cakes everything. YET others seem to think what I do is stupid and don't agree with the way we raise Amelia and YET I discover time and time again that they copy, sorry, attempt to copy every little thing I do. Instead of using it as a point of contact, a point of similarity, it is used as a weapon to put down my parenting to satisfy something THEY lack.

I find this is common between working moms and stay at home moms. My husband and I decided when if we were going to have children I would stay at home to raise them. We decided to give up things in the present in hopes that our decision will benefit our children in the future. I have no problem with women who work it's just not for us. Yet I'm tired of being pointed at for being "obsessed" with my child.

Well I will continue to be obsessed with her and our future children. That is why we want children. We are a couple who enjoyed changing everything in our lives to move on to the stage of being happy to just sit at home, together, with a sleeping child at night.

Naked

Yup THAT'S my toddler. NAKED!

Not during the day. Not running around laughing her butt off because she's once again mastered the buttons, zips and pullovers. This seems to be a "in her sleep" thing. Now I'm not 100% sure if it's sleep or "sleep" but every time I tuck her in I'll find she has become an escape artist and all but her arms are spread about. This happens when she's in her sleep suits. Yes we were in big girl PJ's BUT after several mornings walking in to see the neck of the top stretched around her waist I figured the onesie would keep her warm. Well if would if she kept it on!

So as a result we have several super cute PJ tops with giant necks that no amount of washing will shrink thanks to two arms heaving through and it being pulled and wiggled down to her waist AND we have a super suit that won't stay on...

I know I should just put it on backwards but I feel odd about that for some reason SO I'm on a mission to solve this problem!

Wish me luck!

Feeling Silent.........

The Right Moment

When my husband and I decided we were going to have children we knew it would come at a cost. My husband is a chef and works LONG hours and I was a singer & singing teacher so my busy times were the same as my husbands. It was never a question of childcare. Apart from the fact that childcare hours do not match up to the evening/weekend work we both did, I knew that I wanted to make a full commitment to being a full time mother, at least for a few years.

I have my weeks where I miss work. I miss my "old life". Like this week, when every second person has asked me if i'm singing in this, would I sing in that and I think to myself, God am I insane? I spent 20 odd years of my life training and working for that dream career that I handed away to meet my other desire of having children.

Tonight, when I was giving Amelia her bath that thought crossed my mind and I looked at Amelia. She was sitting looking at me, with a HUGE smile on her face and a beard of bubbles. How about that timing.

All my life I wanted to sing and be a mom. I never knew i'd have to choose and yes i've given up everything to be a mom and my husband still has his career but when I think of someone else having those little moments with Amelia or someone besides us putting Amelia to bed I know i've made the right choice.

Breastfeeding in public

OK not a topic I converse on often because people can get hot under the collar but something really confuses me. I mean, I am all for breast feeding. I do not agree that breast is best because Amelia is much healthier than most breast fed babies I know and it has a lot to do with the total balance she receives. But I agree and support a woman's right to CHOOSE to breast feed.

However, breast-feeding in pubic. Should it be an issue? Well...no because a baby needs to eat BUT I think it wouldn't kill anyone to wear a cover. I know, I know it's natural but so is being hairy, body odour, going to the toilet and being naked but these things aren't accepted in everyday life in the western world. I mean technically it's natural for a man to pee where ever he needs to but it's not appropriate. So is it appropriate for a woman to whip out her breast when not feeding? What if she has a purpose for taking her breast out like her bra hurts?

People say there are women walking around wearing less...true... BUT you do not agree with them dressing in that manner and you don't like seeing it. So?

Personally I feel it is SO easy to get BEAUTIFUL light covers now that don't affect anyone. I would not be comfortable showing all in public and my husband wouldn't either. Yes baby has to eat but I feel it doesn't kill me to adjust everything so I'm covered. It is natural human instinct to look at the human body. Not always in a sexual way but in comparison or what ever. Whether we like it or not breasts are sexualised. So looking at it from that way, a woman breast feeding with her breast out is doing so because it has a natural purpose. So a man standing somewhere to urinate is too natural and has a purpose. Why should women be allowed to show something that has a purpose but is sexualised when a man can't show something that has a purpose and is sexualised? I don't understand the difference. To me it's like when people give out to me about foreigners and I say well my husband is foreign and they say not THAT type of foreign. Meaning they are speaking about certain race BUT you can't define things like that. It's all or nothing.

I'm curious... How do you define natural when every other natural thing should be shielded and hidden behind closed doors?

Routine and Toddlers

Amelia is routine mad! She loves it. I have my phone set to beep to remind me of certain things through the day so I make sure and fit them in. Morning snack, lunch, dinner, bath. Amelia loves knowing what comes next. When the phone beeps she goes to the fridge for her fruit snack or asks to "peeeeeeeeas" (please) get up to the table to eat her food. She knows when story time is due and brings her books, she knows mornings after snack are usually creative times with painting or drawing. She knows after nap she has a snack and then we're outside to play for a while (when it's not pouring of course)

Amelia is very opinionated. She knows what she wants and nothing will stop that girl from getting it. God help us! I find that with a routine, she feels more in control because I never have to demand that it's time to eat or time to sleep. She knows what comes next and she'll lead the way. Her way is my way. So it works!

I've read that routine makes a toddler feel more secure, and also helps them learn because everything is repeated. I guess this is why Amelia has surprised me with the way she picks things up.

Also, routine means we get to spend time together as a family. My husband works very long hours at the restaurant and so by the time he gets home Amelia is snoring away. Being on routine means we're all up, dressed and ready to start the day at the same time and we can sit down and have breakfast and take the 3 hours we have in the morning slowly. It's the only time Amelia get with her daddy so her daily and bedtime routine helps up to keep that a morning option.

Of course there are days when routine goes out the window when we're out or have errands to run but I always try to keep some things on time. Mainly her meals because it's easy on the go. I can't exactly take out the paints and paper in the middle of ikea or something but you get the idea.

How much sleep does an infant need?

While every baby is unique, there are some average guides to how much sleep a baby or toddler may need.

The following practical information regarding nap and nighttime sleep is identified by Lavin and Glaser:

•One week – eight nap hours, eight nighttime hours
•One month – seven nap hours, eight and a half nighttime hours
•Three months – five nap hours, nine nighttime hours
•Six months – four nap hours, ten nighttime hours
•One year – two nap hours, eleven nighttime hours
•Two years – one nap hour, twelve nighttime hours
•Three years – 30 minutes nap, eleven nighttime hours

Lavin and Glaser recognise that if children as young as two years of age have a minor disruption to their sleep, this may lead to severe problems in brain functioning. Sleep deprived toddlers will likely exhibit some of the following: irritability, emotional instability, aggression, attention deficits and loss of memory function.

This was taken from infant-toddler-health.suite101.com

I have come under "attack" several times about how much sleep Amelia gets. Right now Amelia is in bed by 7:30 at the latest, 7 if she's tired. She naps for 2 hours a day. Sometimes she will be in bed at 6:30 if she's had a shorter nap. For the most part she sleeps for 12 hours at night and then her 2 hours during the day so 14 hours all up. I also read that sleep deprivation has a serious effect on a child’s ability to concentrate and pay attention. It also lowers children’s immune systems, so they’re more prone to illness.

The last line I found very interesting because Amelia has a fantastic immune system. And NO it's not because I'm a stay at home mom and my child's not in daycare and NO it will not effect her later on. She has a great immune system because of what she EATS and the SLEEP that she gets. Amelia is super bright and way ahead of her piers. She loves to read and cook and do art projects.

This was a rant post. Just had to put it out there.

Wasp!!

I HATE wasp with a passion! With reason though. When I was stung I went temporally blind, deaf and then passed out.... fun. So I have a huge fear now. Worse more so, now that I'm a mom. On one hand I'm afraid Amelia will get stung but more afraid she'll get stung and have a reaction like mine. On the other hand, I'm afraid I'll be stung and I'll be on the ground and my 20 month old sure can't help me!

This is leading to a big problem. Obviously we want to play outside in the sun (we see so little in Ireland) but when I see a wasp I FREEZE and I do the same when it flies around Amelia. Not at all useful to her.

I have some anti wasp candles so I'm praying they work. *shiver*

Martha Day!

So lately i've been feeling very creative in the kitchen. I cook more than I eat so there is either a lot of waste OR my husband eats some and brings the rest to his staff in work!

Today for breakfast I made apple and raisin crepes, I made a veggie fish bake for lunch and got messy with Amelia when we made chocolate cupcakes. Most of my ideas involve sweet foods which is annoying because we don't really eat it! Oh well, all the more for the chefs in my husbands kitchen!

TV or not TV

Before I had Amelia I knew I didn't want her to be a child who sat in front of the tv for hours on end. Sat playing video games. It's just not what I wanted. I do let Amelia watch tv. She watches Mickey Mouse, Imagination Movers, Tigger & Pooh but only spread out across the day. Of course there are days when she's tired or not feeling well and she'll curl up for the day. One thing I make sure to do though is that at least once a week the tv is off for the whole day. I feel it's important.

Of course tv is fine for some people because it fits into their lives but it's just not for me. My reasons behind this are looking into the future. I want Amelia to imagine, create and move. I don't want her to sit in front of a screen with a remote in hand "playing" a game. Though I may be a "horrible mother" in the future for it I will not be buying Amelia video games for the tv. She will not have her own tv or her own computer until she is older. Hand held video games are fine because they can travel so I see good reason for them. Right now Amelia will happily read book after book while travelling so long may that live!

Eating Concerns

I read an article recently that basically blamed fast food chains for children being over weight. Offering toys as a reward for eating fatty foods.

I really wonder about this. As a parent I honestly think this is so stupid. How is it the fault of a fast food chain? It's the parents fault! That's right YOU! If your child is fat it's your fault. I take TOTAL responsibility for everything that goes into Amelia's mouth. Why is the blame taken from parents so easily? SAY NO! Raise children with an understanding of food. Yes I'm aware that my daughter is only 20 months old but she will choose fruit/veggie snacks over sweets, water over "fruit" juices. I don't ban these foods from Amelia BUT I do limit them and when she DOES have a treat she will eat less of it than if I put a plate of homemade dinner or fruits in front of her.

How can a fast food chain cause a child do be fat by putting a toy in a cardboard box? DO they bring the child to the restaurant? Do they buy the food? NO! Parents do. I don't understand why parents blame a food chain because they didn't want to deal with the tantrum when they say no to their child.

It's all about education!

Happy Snaps!

Life is an Endless Surprise

Well since I had my daughter it is! This week was a vacay for us! YAY! It's been 4 years since we've had a holiday! We wanted to pack it full of things for Amelia. Fun family time!

We brought her back to where she was born, where we want to move back to. We went to the endless playgrounds, walks, castles, ponds, beaches, parks, forests and the zoo! I was so surprised with the things Amelia picked up, remembered. She was talking up a storm! She walked everywhere, ate a ton of ice cream and was so well behaved. Said please and thank you to everyone. I'm one proud momma!

We went to the zoo and to my surprise my TOTAL surprise she walked the whole way! This is not a small zoo. We were walking for at least 3 hours and she only sat down to have a snack. I was so impressed. She was making all her animal sounds, doing her penguin dance, playing with a monkey! She touched a sheep for the first time but forgot she hates the feeling of wool....wow that was funny!

We stayed in the hotel we got married in. Lyrath estate. I must admit I was nervous about bringing her because it's a 5* hotel and I was so worried she'd act up because it was somewhere new. Boy was I wrong! She was an angel! At breakfast she sat and munched on a bit of everything from the buffet and at dinner she sat patiently in her seat while we were being served. She was busy exploring everything and was in such a great mood. I think I fell in love with her all over again this week!

I did however learn that she sleeps like her daddy... loudly!! Poor momma!

How Clean is TOO Clean

I will hold my hand up and admit I can be a Monica. I enjoy cleaning. I don't go over board and clean everything every day but a few things I will do. I clean the floors everyday. Well lets be honest it's sometimes more than once a day because when we're out in the garden bits and pieces get dragged in and I hate the feeling of grub under my feet in the house. Every evening after Amelia goes down I tidy all her toys away. I do this for 2 reasons, 1 is so she has a fresh start every day but also so night time the downstairs is for my husband and I.

I have tried not to pass on to many "mess hating" vibes to Amelia. I don't want her to not get dirty but she doesn't seem to like it to much anyway. The onyl time she enjoys mess is right after she wakes up and is full of energy other than that she can moan her way through. I've read resently about being "TOO CLEAN" for the health of children. As in, having them avoid germs to the point of having a weak immune system. I honestly do not think I am one of these. YES I like to clean, NO Amelia never really gets sick (personally I think she has got that from my husband) but the in between of these is germs that I miss. I don't make everything germ free BUT my house is nearly always tidy. However I do teach Amelia general cleaning things so she avoids picking up colds everywhere she goes.

Here are some things I personally feel are important.

Encourage Good Hand Washing Habits
I think this is probably the easiest one because toddlers just love splashing about and I know Amelia picked this up after showing her once.

Brushing Teeth
This is a HUGE MUST for me. Dental heigene is so important to me. Amelia is fantastic. I've been brushing her teeth since the day I could see one poking through. The brissles of the brush help soften gums and i'm convinced that's why Amelia has had minimal trouble with teething. She now brushes her teeth herself and does a really good job. She'll do it around 3 times a day but she would do it more if I left her. I use baby toothpaste once a day and the rest of the time she'll use water.

Being Clean in Public
We've all seen that person walking from the toilets without washing their hands. Nice. I don't spritz and wipe Amelia every 5 minutes when she's out but I will wipe her hands if she's going to eat something or if she's going to go for a nap OR if she's grabbed something random. One thing I do hate is people touching young childrens hands because not everyone cleans their hands like me and teething children put their hands in their mouths...are those people touching hands and walking past the sinks in the toilets one and the same??!

Amelia in NO way avoids germs. I've caught her licking the bottom of her shoe on more than one occasion. Yum! She rolls around the garden with the dog and they lick each others faces. Yes you read right, they both do it.

I don't know if it's cleaning, exposure to certain germs, good genes (from Daddy) or all the fersh fruit and veg Amelia eats but I don't think she doesn't get sick because i'm TOO clean. What do you think?

Father's Day!

Well this week is Fathers Day! Amelia and I have some fun things planned this week :)

Letter of the week? F! Flower, Fig (our dog) fruit, fun, face and so on! I do, and have been for some time now, doing a letter of the week with Amelia. We draw pictures for each word, I guide her hand as she writes the letter.

Amelia's story of the week, "My Daddy And Me".

Amelia spends SO much time drawing and paint that we will have a little make and do. I think we'll make a card for Daddy. (Don't worry he never reads this) I'm planning on involving glue...her first experience... This.Will.Be.Messy! :)I think we'll make a little picture card he can keep in his wallet considering he spends so much time away with work.

She's a major Daddy's girl so she'll love this :)

My Little Artist

Home Made Baby Food

This is something that is personally close to me. We decided that we were going to introduce Amelia to food very carefully. I believe that from the first day a child eats, we shape them for life. I wanted Amelia to taste everything and to know the taste. I wanted her to LIKE fruits and veg. Which I'm delighted to say she does and she will look to snack on those as opposed to sweets.

We started her on single fruits/veg. I would cook each fruit or veg and blitz it but not into a paste. I didn't want to start her on very smooth foods because I wanted her to know texture from the get go. Obviously it wasn't "lumpy" just textured. We started with pear, carrot, avocado, apple, pumpkin etc.

The main reason for homemade was because if you pick up a jar of "carrot" baby food and actually read the ingredients, there is a list or more than carrot in there! I wanted to know exactly what was going into her. I still do.

Obviously I'm not saying jar food is "bad" for a child but I'm saying I wanted what was better for her. I remember my sister in law threw me a baby shower and played that game where everyone had to taste baby food from a jar. My husband is a chef and a VERY good one at that. What did he taste in each jar? Carrot! Carrot and that funky aftertaste and funky smell.

Why do all jars lead to the same taste? It's because they've been cooked, then put in a can/jar then heated again to a high temp to sterilise it. When it's heated again the sugars caramelise and you get that funky smell and orange colour.

Lets look at an everyday example, if you put broccoli in a pot a heat it, what happens? The water turns green. The heats draws out all the nutrients. The ones you buy in a jar have been cooked and then heated again? What's left? Then some brands will even ADD IN the nutrients lost during this process. WOW thanks! Fake nutrients for my baby!

I can steam food, blitz and store. We would makes Amelia's meals for the week on a Sunday night. It didn't take that long and it meant there was a point to feeding her fruit and veg. Again I'm not saying it's "bad" to feed your child jar food. They are very handy for travel. I just don't see the point in spending the money on food with "nutrients" when I could give her fresh food with nutrients.

Words words words words words!

A few days ago, my husband and I were talking about my concerns over Amelia's LACK of new words. She was doing well but suddenly stopped at maybe 5 or 6 words. We were sitting on the floor with her talking and seeing what words she would repeat. We got a few and then (as usual) she got bored and ran off!

I was only half concerned because she does have some words and know EVERY animal sound. Amelia's motor skills are way ahead. She has amazing balance and I can count on one hand the amount of times she's fallen over. She can walk up and down stairs, turn on and off taps and make phone calls from my mobile to other countries...ahem

So obviously she was listening because later that day, and ever since she is saying everything! Body parts, all her flash cards, letters by pointing at the fridge magnets, it's like she's exploded out of her shell.

Now next thing to work on?

Amelia sweetheart we don't blow kisses to random weirdos in the street!!

Had to share

This is a link to what was found in a leaking Kraft brand capri sun

This is why we avoid all processed food!!

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/album.php?aid=62218&id=1344167118

She's the WORLD!

Amelia that is. Amelia is our world. She is the centre of everything and everything revolves around her. Don't like it? You don't have to. Don't be involved. I know you're thinking wow that child is spoilt! Yes in some ways, but she has rules, manners and respect and we will continue to teach her these things.

We decided a long time ago that the only people we would have in Amelia's life are those who put her before the bull$hit. Those who bring something to her life. Those who spoil her. I don't mean spend millions on her (though the odd gift is nice) I mean TIME!!! TIME is what children need!! Why do I need to fight for something so simple? I don't think Amelia is more important than other children or anything. She has a beautiful little cousin who I WISH I could spoil rotten but I can't afford too, but I think she should be centre of the world too.

I am so very sick of gossip/bitching and people who I feel are wasting chances with Amelia. If she's not important enough to stop you being an idiot then feel free to stop being involved with her. My daughter deserves the BEST and I don't care how many jobs we have to work she will have it. If we can work 3 jobs (4 if you include a stay at home mom) why can you shut your mouth?

My point in this rant is, where in life, is the point where you say enough is enough and put your childs needs infront of everything. Is it once is too much? 3 strikes you're out? Keep going in the hopes you'll change? Are there rules to say centain people are excluded from this? Can certain people do what ever they want and you have to take it? When is enough, enough?

Toddler Tantrums

Tantrums...what's new? We've all done it and some of us still do!

I must admit I haven't found them as embarrassing as I thought I would. I honestly don't care about others opinions. Tantrums are a part of toddler life and I'd rather she got out all that frustration in one hit instead of holding it and being grumpy for hours.

I do try and ignore most of them. Amelia throws at least 4 tantrums a day. 2 of which are usually big ones. Right now the biggest is over having to come inside from the garden. Sometimes they get to the point where I sit her down on a chair and let her scream. Once she has everything out she'll move on.

I've read a few toddler tantrum tips like hug it out, talk it out. It may work for some but not for Amelia. Most of the time if she throws a HUGE fit I'll let her lie down on the floor and kick and scream it out. Most of the time I'll sit beside her and wait until she's finished. I don't want her to think there is something "wrong" with having a tantrum as such because right now that's how she's gets out her emotions.

I'll update when this stops working :)

MIA

Wow I really have been MIA!!

The time has flown! I've had NO time for blogging but I will try to get back into it. Spring so far has been super busy. Getting the back garden sorted for Amelia to play in. Planting flowers, cleaning up. All the usual!

I'm back in blog mode now

Blah blah blog

I was writing a long, meaningful and thought provoking blog but I've gotten distracted and annoyed. Now I'm too focused on being annoyed to write anything that makes sense so here are some fun pictures :D

Pepper

Friday will be a very sad day for us.

Our dog Pepper will be leaving us. We are heartbroken but she is no longer happy with us. We have never had problems between our two dogs but she has suddenly turned against our other dog. Our other dog, Fig, is a labrador and a VERY gentle dog. It's gotten to a point, over the last few days, where Fig will not fight back when Pepper starts at her. Fig will get hurt and we'll loose both dog then. Pepper is such a good dog I don't know what happened. She's perfect on walks/runs, really well trained and loves just being around you. Now she can't be near Fig for a few minutes without starting a fight. Pepper would NEVER hurt any of us but there is a huge risk of getting caught in the cross fire because once that switch goes off there is no stopping her. You really have to pick her up and carry her to be locked up.

I'll miss my baby. It's like a switch has gone off in her head. I want to keep her but I can't risk it with our other dog being there and of course with Amelia running around and Fig was there first so... She will be going to a dog rescue in Kilkenny. We know the old couple who run it and they are going to work with her and rehome her as an only dog. :( She's not happy here because of the way we have to keep them separate. It's not fair to Fig because she doesn't understand why they can't play and Pepper doesn't seem to "mean" to flip out. It's all very strange. :(

Daddy or learning?

Stumble, clink, bang, thud, thump!

The sound of my daughter moving around. Ever since the day she started walking, Amelia has had excellent balance. She never fell, danced in circles, ran, skipped and never fell over. God has that changed!

I was worried about this sudden tripping over everything but I have 2 theories.

First, I have read that when a toddler is working on a new skill the others become less interesting and so they don't work on them as much. For example, when Amelia was doing all the dancing and prancing around she hardly ever made a sound. Now that she's really working on all her sounds she seems to be ignoring her feet. She'll run towards animals, toys, on TV or signs making the sound of the animal...but she falls her way there! So I'm guessing when she's comfortable with some more words she'll start to put the two together!

Of course my other theory is... my husband is really really clumsy! He'll walk into things, trip up over nothing, drop things and yes he was in the army and was using weapons and yes he is a chef using very sharp knives everyday! Oi!

When I grow Up...

...I wanna be just like my Daddy!

Being a mother

I'm not sure I'll be able to put this into words but I'll try

Today is Mother's Day. (in Ireland anyway) So while my daughter is taking a nap, and I'm on my MUCH needed break I've decided to explore what I think about being a mother.

Well I suppose the obvious is I love it! It's not always easy. God knows Amelia can push my buttons when she wants to! She's cheeky, bossy, a totally Diva... and according to my Dad she's pretty much me when I was that age :D

I think for the first few weeks of Amelia's life the main things that came out of my mouth involved my astonishment of this little person. We made her. She was part me and part my husband. That's just SO amazing. To create something so beautiful with someone you love. She's my part of my husband when he's away working. (Which he is today because mother's day is busy busy at the restaurant) I always have a part of him here at home.

Some women find lack of sleep a problem. We don't have much trouble with that unless we have teeth pushing through. Me? I, sadly, find the mess one of the hardest things about being a mother. I am a neat freak and MY GOD that girl can make a mess! I don't know what she has done to the toy box, but the poor thing keeps throwing up all over the place! I don't know how many times I tidy, clean up spills, clean the spit marks off the windows in any one day, yet, as I type this I'm smiling because I can't think of a better way to spend my day!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is approaching fast. Sunday 14th March and I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to it. I of course love being a mom but I also hate being without one. My mom passed away a few years ago. She never met my husband and therefore never met Amelia. I think about that everyday. Every single day. It's exhausting. I'd love to share the special bond mothers and daughters share after a baby arrives.

I felt so cheated when my mom died. With how she died. With her not knowing who I was when she died. With her being at my brother's wedding but not being at mine. Though none of that should be in past tense because I still feel like that. That's why we had a small non wedding wedding. I didn't want any of the thing's I'd planned with my mom as a dreaming teen.

I can't help but think about how much easier life would be if my mom was still here. For advice, quality time, conversation. I get SO annoyed when people give out about their mothers. BE GLAD SHE'S THERE!!!

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. I think I HAVE to believe that. But it is true. As much as I wish my mom was here, if she was I never would have met my husband. Well not in the same way anyway. I never would have travelled to Australia, I never would have met him, made some amazing friends and Amelia would not be here today. So there's the reason. Now if only the "reason" made it easier to miss her.

We have never said the word nana/nan or anything related around Amelia. She does stand in her crib laughing and talking to nana. I can hope right?

So mom......

Happy Mother's Day. I miss you always and love you always. I hope you're proud. I hope you're at peace. I hope you watch over my baby girl. I hope you're the reason she says nana. I hope you're who she smiles at when she's looking at nothing.

Pondering...

As a family we have decided to get on a healthy lifestyle plan. Not in a super ott way but because of general things we have noticed with processed food. It all started when I had a conversation with my husband (a chef) about how healthy or unhealthy the children's food menu is in his restaurant. It started to spiral as we looked through our own freezer. I always have good intentions of making everything home made but time seems to go by to fast in any 1 day. I changed my mind when I was in the supermarket looking for chicken nuggets for Amelia made with 100% chicken breast. I found one, a very well known brand, with "100% Chicken Breast" in huge writing across the packet. 100%? Really? Turn it over. I've found all in stores in are 50% - 74% chicken breast. The rest is water, and God knows what chemicals I can't pronounce. Well for us that was the end of chicken nuggets! I can take some time out each week to chop up a chicken breast, crumb it and freeze it.

I can't help but wonder the obvious. Do we have more illness, disease and general health problems because of the improvement in our health care or the over load of chemicals we have in our day to day lives? Research by Bionsen, a natural deodorant company, found that the average woman's daily grooming and make-up routine means she 'hosts' a staggering 515 different synthetic chemicals on her body every single day. That doesn't included the God knows how many things we put IN our bodies. Now I'm not against improvements in health care and I'm honestly probably not going to stop putting chemicals on my body. Organic lotions maybe but I still like my products.

I suppose every action has a reaction. Every improvement in our food/hygiene means there is something natural being taken away. Here's what got me pondering in the first place. Steam mops... bear with me I have a point :) At first this seemed fantastic! I can clean the floors, killing germs, no chemicals BUT what's in the water I'm using? Tap water is treated so unless you get water from your own well or a spring is it really chemical free? Again...I'm still gonna use it but the thought still crossed my mind.

We now buy organic produce. We, sadly, don't have the soil for growing veg and it would take a HUGE overhaul of the garden to fix that. We don't have the soil because of builders leaving god knows what buried there not because I know anything about what kind of soil is needed. Still when I put organic veg into the shopping cart...what was in the soil it was grown in? So unless you are 100% self sufficient and living in the middle of no where can you actually avoid chemicals?

What makes a great dad?

Recently, as I think I've mentioned, my husband and I have been putting everything in our life into perspective. A lot of conversation have, of course, revolved around our daughter. My husband is totally devoted to her. It got me thinking. I hear so many stories of "dead beat dads". My husband works with one who sees his 5 year old son once a month because "his x does a good job". Clearly this is NOT a good dad. What does makes a good dad?

Is it simply being there? Is it bringing in money? Is it building all the new bits and pieces that come with children?

To me a good Dad is...well my husband!

Brent took to being a father like a duck to water. I remember him being nervous about this little person who would soon be in our care. I remember the conversations he had with my father that built his confidence. He didn't need to worry. Brent changed Amelia's first diaper like a pro. He held her just right. He got involved with everything from day 1. Her baths, diapers, and he was the EXPERT at sorting her colic problems.
Now that she is 15 months he makes her laugh, plays with her, teaches her how to head bang to rock music :) He gets her up every morning so I have a few minutes alone before he's gone for the rest of her day. *major points for this*

Of course he's not perfect, though in my opinion he's pretty close. There have been more than a few occasions where I've walked in saying "what is she wearing?!" "Brush her hair!" Besides those few cosmetic incidences what I think makes him a great dad is he NEVER stops trying to improve his daddy skills. He wants to learn how to tie her hair in pig-tails now that she has enough to do so! He wants to be there for her in every way. He wants only the best for her. I know a lot of dads SAY this but the difference is Brent would do ANYTHING for Amelia and I adore him for it. I love that he has gotten over problems in his past for her. I love how he will improve anything he can for her. I can't express enough what he has done and wants to do all for her.

So my top 5 good dad tips are;

Don't be shy-
With toddlers, comes silliness. The more foolish you are the more they giggle. Don't be worried about looking like an idiot in the park. Most people will admire how great you are with your child not make fun of you. Even if someone makes fun, look at your toddler's face and you won't care.

Laugh-
You WILL get pee'd on. You WILL end up with poop on you. There WILL be a smell of vomit on your shirt even if you can't find the stain. All you can do is laugh at it. At the end of the day it's harmless.

Be supportive-
Please note; for the first few weeks after your child is born, if you criticize your wife/girlfriend the response, 9 out of 10 times will be, "well excuse me I did just have a PERSON come out of me!" You have been warned :D

Bond-
Get to know your child. As a stay at home mom I know Amelia better than Brent, but he makes sure to learn the things I pick up. A dad is always needed. I still adore my dad and he has taken on my husband too and is the centre for advice. He's a dictionary with arms! We'll never ask anyone but him for advice again. Great dads can make this great bond.

Understand-
This one came from my husband himself.
Don't get stressed out with them. They are children. They are learning. Walk out of the room if your stress levels rise too much. Don't shout at them, don't scare them. Understand that they don't "mean" to annoy you.

Prayers

Layla Grace a sweet angelic 2 year old passed away today from Stage 4 neuroblastoma. The story is heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain of her family through this loss but our prayers are with them. Layla's story has touched SO many people. I can honestly say she has changed me as a mother and a person.

Please say a prayer for the Marsh family as Layla plays with the Angels.



Read her story @ www.laylagrace.org

How time speeds by......

I have been looking through photos of the last 15, almost 16 months with Amelia. My God they change so fast....

This was my tiny 6lb bundle



This is my Diva now...




It really is just crazy how much she has changed. Even stranger I think is that I couldn't for one second imagine my life without her! It's crazy to think that one tiny little person can have such a HUGE impact on your life. Before we had her everyone said "A baby will change your life" I don't think we've ever felt a "change". She has improved our life beyond words. God I love that little girl!

Raising an individual

One thing I want to try and teach my daughter is that it's OK to be different. Granted I am hoping that this will aid in her not becoming entrapped in a bad group at school but also just for her own confidence.

I think it's safe to say that once I hit my mid teens I came into my own. I had every colour hair inc pinks and blues. I had loads of arm bands, bracelets and a MAJOR obsession with rainbows. I suppose I am still the same. I try to buy "with the trends" but I always seems to end up doing my own thing in the end and the "trend" clothes end up stuffed at the back of the wardrobe! Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to create a mini me but I enjoy being my own person and I'm grateful to my parents for letting me express myself so I want to give Amelia the same option.

Already I do dress Amelia "different". Due to myself and thanks to some very talented friends, a lot of the clothes, hats and other bits and pieces she wears are hand made. At first I started this out of frustration. SO many people kept thinking she as a boy. No matter how much pink we bought or what shop we bought from and then entered the joys of handmade! Everything is MUCH more obviously girly without being covered in frills and bright pink. As it's turned out, the styles from handmade designs seems to suit Amelia more. On one hand it's because she's small and is still wearing 9-12 months clothes, some are even 6 month clothes even thought she is 15 months. Though the other reason is that she already had a wacky personality and the normal store bought clothes just don't seem to match her diva personality!

I won't push her to be "different" of course not. I do, however, want her to dye her hair IF SHE WANTS, wear odd socks, wear mad hats, express herself. Now I'm not going to let my tweenie put permanent dye in her hair but a wash out, sure, why not. I want to raise a child who has her own ideas and maybe more importantly is not AFRAID to have her own ideas. I want her to be confident, expressive, creative and happy with the person she is (or will become)

What is enough?

A conversation with my mother in law struck a cord with me...
"Relax she's fine"
"you're doing great"


It's nice to hear! I don't know if it's only me, and I highly doubt it is, but I am constantly wondering if I'm doing enough of the "right" things for Amelia. Am I reading to her enough? Do I teach her enough? Is she eating the right foods?

First I'll tackle the food. Honestly I don't question myself on this too much. I try to give her as much of a balanced diet as I can follow on a normal day. She does not have sweets or chocolate. The only chocolate she has had was the lick of a spoon when we were baking. She'll eat on most days, more than her "5 a day". Maybe 6 or 7 because she loves fruit. We don't keep white bread in the house and we try to buy organic where we can. She doesn't like milk (I don't either) so she has two cups of toddler milk a day which has good iron levels in it, which for some reason is one thing I want to make sure she has above others. The only problem we have is that she is probably getting to much dairy because man does that girl love her yogurts!

I worry about everything with Amelia. Like most moms I guess. Maybe I worry more about a few things but has anyone else noticed that the focus is always on what we're doing wrong? So thanks to my MIL I pass this on to you...

WELL DONE MOMS! (and DADS!) Well done for having HAPPY children, SMART children. Children who are LOVED and ADORED like they should be. It's OK to question yourself because I think it makes us better people. But with every question add a pat on the back for how far you have come and all the things your child has learned because of YOU!

Every Minute...

For some reason, over the last few days I have read so many "horror" stories about children Amelia's age. From a child being killed in a daycare to a child dying from cancer.

The daycare story broke my heart. Both my husband and I shed tears over this. Basically a child was killed in daycare by a stressed out worker. I won't get into it to much because I will cry again. There is a line explaining how the little child grabbed his blanket and curled up to die. My god I can feel the tears. This honestly scared the hell out of me. My husband too. Amelia is a blanket baby. She'll cuddle her blanket when she's sad or tired. All that went through my mind was, my God that is what Amelia would do. I can feel the tears again. I am SO thankful that I am a stay at home mom because if I wasn't I would have quit my job and taken Amelia out of daycare the next day. This is why we go without. I don't trust anyone I don't know with my baby. If my mother was still on this earth I would trust her but not a daycare. Not people I don't know. I just couldn't and this story sealed the deal for me. If you want to read it the link is

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/01/suburban-infant-taken-from-daycare-center-later-dies.html

Tonight I was reading the story of a toddler who is dying from cancer and it's reminded me to be more thankful than I am. Don't complain when your children are under your feet. Don't wish your children would sit quietly and watch TV. Enjoy the noise. Don't will your child to go to bed early. Cherish the extra minutes you have with them that night. Think of every stupid thing you complain about your children doing...now imagine them never doing it again. So many people who have lost children would give anything for those little annoyances. Cherish them.

Chatterbox!

I must admit I've spent a few weeks worried out of my mind about Amelia's language skills. Well really it was after she got the MMR shot. I had been against her getting it so young but the nurse talked my husband into it.

Before the shot she was all talk. She had loads of words and she attempted a lot too. Well after her MMR she went very quiet and didn't feel well. This lasted for maybe 3 weeks. Her speech never really picked back up. Then I picked up my "What to Expect, The Toddler Years" There is a section in it about toddlers and regression. One note said that they will sometimes halt in one area to work on another skill. Well that struck a huge note with me. Amelia is a fantastic walker. She has amazing balance and never falls. She will always catch herself and regroup. I noticed that she is now spinning around in circles and dancing, running and walking backwards. It eased my mind that I could relate this.

On that note... This morning Amelia was FULL of chatter! She was talking about "the goggies an da gaga say woof woof" meaning the doggies are in the garden barking! So I feel better! I worry a lot being a SAHM that I'm not doing enough for her. I sometimes have to shh myself and say that she has a lot of other things down to a tea. She can feed herself, follow ANY "order", copies any action, pours me a cup of "tea" and drinks it too.

I wish there was a badge for milestones met as a mommy!

Bubbles

Awww bubbles... I have to say I have never lost my love of these. From my very early years I can remember spending hours in the back yard blowing bubbles. Cheap, yet provides hours of entertainment. Today we had Amelia in the yard and she was dancing around the bubbles we blew. Laughing, dancing, pointing, singing.

Is it the colours? The way they dance around in the wind, the fact that they are there and then gone? Isn't it amazing that every child at some stage loves bubbles? With all the crazy new technology that appears everyday I love that children still enjoy something as simple as bubbles.

Personally I worry that Amelia won't play as much as I have done in my childhood. I worry she'll grow out of dolls before she's old enough to really use her imagination. It is a very high priority for us to teach Amelia how to play and how to amuse herself without the use of computers or toys in which you push a button and watch them play.

Of course I know I can't block her from the world of technology that she will be thrown into. I don't want too. I know she will want a computer and television, a phone and got knows what else but I do plan on avoiding buying her these things for as long as possible. I'm not anti technology by any means. I will be honest and say that yes Amelia has battery operated toys and yes she watches a few shows on television but she also has wooden toys that do nothing and mini world play sets that at most have a door bell sound. Personally I'd feel like I failed her if she didn't play. I'd feel like I let the world of technology raise my child instead of me doing the job.

If there can be nothing else, I hope at least she will always enjoy one simple little thing. Something that makes no noise and has no flashing lights. I hope she will always enjoy bubbles.

VOTE FOR AMELIA!

Please go to...

www.findthefaceofbluezoo.com

filter to Girls, Age group 1, Rep of Ireland and Amelia is in that group. You do have to sign up but there is NO JUNK MAIL!!

You can vote once per day. Please vote as often as you can!

Roz x

The Letter "A"

Amelia is home with me most of the time because childcare is so expensive that if I go back to work we're almost paying out more money than i'd earn so it just doesn't work right now. I am trying to fill in some of the things she'd learn in daycare. I don't want her to be a child who sits in front of the television all day.

This week we have been working on the letter "A"

We coloured lots of pictures I drew. Ant, Australia, Art, Alien and I held her hand and helped her write Amelia and the letter "A" and "a"

I'm planning on doing a letter a week and hoping some info sticks in her head!

Needing the Summer

So, my husband is Australian and though we have tossed back and fort between wanting to move there or stay in Ireland we decided Ireland offered a lot more for Amelia. Easy to travel, cheaper, better school which will cost us thousands less a year. But no one could ever deny Amelia is 1/2 Aussie! She wants to be outside all the time and bear foot! Right now it's still quite cold out so she can't. She is not impressed!

I'm trying to keep her amused but it's hard because at her age each activity gets boring after maybe 3 minutes! We've had such a bad winter that she's inside most of the day for the last few months. Her toys are becoming boring, her books are lasting for a page if i'm lucky. She will colour for 5 or 10 minutes but then wants to run around with the crayon which ends in a tantrum when mommy says no.

I have plenty or ideas for summer. Water games, sand games, getting her swing out which she LOVES. We're planning on clearing up the garden now that she's on her feet. Or course the problem with this is we need no rain to get these things sorted...hmmm could be a problem with wanting no rain in Ireland!

A Remote For Life?

Can I have one? A life remote that is. Like that movie click...

Today, watching Amelia I was hit with a wave. My baby is SO grown up! Amelia, as i've said, is 14 months old. She is tiny and slim. She has fantastic balance and loves music. (dancer?)
She understands everything I say. I realised this the other day when she was having a tantrum about having to go back to the car. I said "Amelia, if you want to walk you have to hold mommy's hand and when we go to the car you can have a drink." That was it! She held my hand and we trotted to the car. When did she become old enough to understand reasoning? Am I lucky that my 14 month old will calm down like this?

Amelia is almost off her bottle and almost off her paci. Though i've had to make myself wean her. I have and am finding it hard to come to terms with the change in just over a year. She now only has her paci at bed time and only has a bottle before bed too. I have no intention of getting rid of that any time soon. I will change the way I give it to her but that's it for now. I need an ajusting period! Am I alone in this want for the early days? Everyone told me to treasure the early days because they go by so fast. I did and I still do treasure every second but this doesn't make the changes any easier, or prepare you for how fast it really does happen.

There is a huge list of things that fasinate me about her. She will feed herself with a spoon or fork depending on what she's eating. (she'll choose which she needs) she'll tell me when she wants to go for a nap or when she wants to go to bed. She can sort her shapes and do her wooden puzzles. She will give her baby doll kisses and cuddles. I could go on and on. I guess as a FTM (first time mom) all these things seem even more amazing to me but I hope I never forget to treasure every second.

Barney Mania

I never thought I would let my child watch Barney. Not that it's not a good show, I just planned to have her watch very little television in her early years. We bought her a small barney soft toy after her 12 month shots...well she has made the connection BIG TIME and now when she wants Barney on, she will pick up her one, march to the television and stomp her feet for Barney. She only pays attention to the songs so I guess it's not too bad because she's not "watching" it.

Today though, I couldn't get over how much she has learned from the show in the few times she's seen it. She'll copy the dances and actions. I'm still not for a 14 month old watching television BUT considering she's learning something as she goes I can't really fault the big purple dinosaur.

It has also added a new thing for us. I am a mother who will dance around the kitchen with my child and now Barney comes too. She will hold one of his hands, I hold the other and we dance in a circle. :)

She's a GIRL!!

This has been happening more often lately and it is driving me insane. My daughter is not a boy! My daughter does not look like a boy! Granted she still does not have a huge amount of hair but there is a little bit of curl at the back.

I'm hearing this from many women with children around Amelia's age. This same problem happening to us all. A friend of mine told me her son (wearing a football outfit) was called a princess! What are we supposed to be dressing our children in? Should a boy always be in blue? Should a girl live in pink? Or should members of the public who feel the need to comment on our children open their eyes and LOOK at what the child is wearing?

Today, for example, Amelia was wearing her lime green shorts with matching tights and a flowery top. She had a brown cardigan with a diamond "A" on it. OK ok I did forget to put a hair bow on her but still! I feel like raiding her wardrobe and throwing out everything that is not 100% girl like. Though I don't know anyone who puts their little boy in tights....

Is there something i'm missing? Frilly dresses don't suit Amelia so we spend a lot of money getting things made that suit her BUT still make her look like a girl. Clearly that has been wasted money. Does this mean if our next child is a boy he will mistaken for a beautiful princess?

People please LOOK before you speak! I will no longer reply in a polite manner I WILL be a smart a$$!

Follow the Trail of Toys

Someone described this to me as "Hansel and Gretel, you follow the trail of toys and you are sure to find your toddler at the end!"

What is it? This is, what I'm now learning, something all parents of toddlers deal with. The infamous ill toy box! The one that throws up all over your living room! Sadly we have 2 toy boxes with this illness. They just can't seem to control themselves.

At the end of a day I clean up the living room. I then move on to the kitchen and dining room, picking up all the random toys Amelia dropped when she decided food was more interesting. Alas when I return to the tidy living room I find Amelia with her head in the toy box, helping it expel all those nasty toys upsetting it's stomach.

It's endless!

The Explanation

I have been blogging for some time but never really shared beyond a few followers so I decided that maybe I would write a blog and advertise the address. So if you are here reading this then thank you for clicking on my link!

I find that being a WAHM (work at home Mom) raising my 14 month old daughter Amelia I don't seem to have much to talk about besides her SO I thought why not get it out of my system in a more organised way! My questions, wonderings and confusion.

I hope some of the stories to follow will bring a little smile to your face!